There is a shift, like when you feel the morning crispness of fall air and realize that summer is over. This shift happens for me each time I prepare. The words “What the fuck am I doing?” no longer repeat over and over in my head. They are replaced with, “What are the last things I need to do to get the fuck out of here?”
It’s a mixed bag: part letting go of all that is in my daily life, part believing that I am actually going to go, and part feeling ready to leave it all behind.
When I was originally thinking about this trip, I had planned for a May 2013 departure and travel for a full year. Then the realization came that I would not be any further along in my preparation 2 months away from my current departure in November than I would two months out from a spring departure. Time is relative. Procrastination is even more relative. Maybe I like the mad rush of it all at the end. Maybe its part of the excitement building. Maybe I just don’t believe it until it happens.
I woke this morning feeling more ready than any time I have since I announced my all too soon, yet not soon enough departure. It’s time to prepare. It’s time to go.